Supa Dupe PhD Candidate Panda

Hello, world! So much has happened since I last updated my blog. DEAL WITH IT. But the worst is over, so now I shall recap my saga.

SUPA DUPE updates:

1. I am officially a PhD candidate in biomedical engineering! Probably the biggest thing hindering updating my blog was stressing out/kind of studying for my QUALIFYING EXAM. Well, the worst of it is over. Our program has qualifying exams at the end of the graduate student's first year. It is a 90 minute oral examination held by a committee of three professors. I had heard mixed reviews from previous students who has passed the exam, even though the fail rate has been pretty low. So I did many a mock oral exam with my peers and older students in the program, blew through two  textbooks the weekend before my exam (not recommended...I just tend to focus better when I'm cramming). Anyway, long story short, I PASSED!! To commemorate the event, I even made business cards! They are so baller. Unfortunately, I have not been able to actually use them yet (except for when I just show them off to my friends); however  remain optimistic as I foresee many networking opportunities in the near future.

You wish your business card was as dope as mine.

2. My age is composed of two consecutive numbers! No, I'm not 12 or 34...I am 23 years old/young! It was a bit hectic as my birthday was May 10, and my qualifying exam was scheduled for May 14. Needless to say, I didn't celebrate until after my exam. The party  planning got a bit crazy as The Boyf was trying to plan a surprise party at the same time as I was trying to plan a dinner. Shit went down and the jig went up, but in the end we figured it out and I had a great night with my friends. The Boyf got me the NEW IPAD! I got a case and bluetooth keyboard for it, and am currently proposing this prose on the technology. Coming from someone who has always had Windows products, I may or may not be considering buying a Macbook!

Birthday cake from The Boyf and my transition from 22 to 23!

Post quals/birthday festivities at Cosmo-Lava lounge!

3. I no longer have cockroaches in my kitchen! Unfortunately, this took too long to fix, and the only way to rid myself of those pesky creatures was to move to a new apartment. Now I am happily residing in a 2bed/2bath apartment with Mr. McDonald, soon to be Dr. McDonald. He is planning on defending in July, and then The Boyf plans to move into my room and we shall have the extra room available for rent. Even though we drive each other crazy sometimes, I am glad we will soon be able to see each other every day, instead of every two months.

In short, life is good. I had stressed out since January about all these things happening, but then I remember all the times I had freaked out previously in my life for no good apparent reason, and somehow everything works out. God is good and takes care of everything. I took this personality test that examined my strengths, and Belief was one of my top 5. Which means that I believe fate has led me to become a panda. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

Also, the stupid IRS has been freezing my bank account recently due to an ERRONEOUS sum of money from taxes back in 2009 that I failed to pay. The key word here is ERROR, aka WRONG, aka THE IRS ARE IMBECILES that have incestuous relations with each other that procure 6-fingered child monsters, who continue to inbreed disgustingly within the next generation, causing the organization to levy innocent (and normal phalangic) citizens in order to pay the high cost of surgical removal of the damned fingers, the procedure to which I MYSELF may or may not be contributing with my doctoral research.

I HATE THE IRS.

But speaking of incest, I read the book ''100 years of solitude'' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez on a whim last weekend, and it was absolutely fantastic! Probably one of the best, if not the best, books that I have read in my entire life. Not only that, but it was an English translation of a Spanish, which makes me sad that I did not keep up with Spanish long enough to be able to read the original version of the novel. But if you have never read it, READ IT. You won't regret it, I promise you. It's so crazy and insane in the membrane that you'll wonder if the author was brilliant or deranged, or BOTH. I support the latter. MY IDOL.

And speaking deranged, today we ordered the TRIPLE CORONARY BYPASS BURGER at the Vortex restaurant, which was a bit disappointing but nevertheless lead to a satisfactory bout of diarrhea. Just kidding. OR AM I. 

I was more excited about the $10 coupon from Google offers.

Like I said, deranged.

But anyway, now that summer has arrived and I am finally DONEZO with IBS and the Core graduate classes that also caused IBS, I should have more time to update! I would toast with some wine, but alcohol just makes my stomach itchy, so I'll stick with the flavored sparkling water. Here's to a fruitful summer, with lots of updates and  fun stuff...not to mention a lot of badass research.

Would it be too much to ask for a first-author paper by August?

Panda Makes Progress

 El Khemdullilah! Today I finally booked tickets to Hotlanta, and spared myself another heart attack inducing jog around the development. The day was filled with stress relievers, starting at 9am with a trip to the outlets.

I NOW HAVE SHOES! Not that I didn’t before, but you know women…Anyway, I am now a proud owner of two Kenneth Cole flats. One is beautiful, the other is eh…but both were on sale and Padre paid, so it’s all good. I’ve been surviving off measly tips at the restaurant (I made ONE dollar today), and it isn’t pretty. I’m used to not working for money; I think it’s only right when it’s your family. But it’s been more than a month, and I just couldn’t resist a good bargain with Padre paying. It’s tough being an indentured servant to your own father, you know.

It wasn’t too busy at the restaurant, but I didn’t get any reading done for BLOCK 0 since I would just fall asleep every time I sat down (I’m sleeping in tomorrow for cereals). Somehow I missed one final assignment stemming from my trip to India earlier in the summer, so I did that and sent it in after work (no internet at the restaurant!? Next thing you know someone will be calling in about our shrimp fried rice!) I mailed my proof of citizenship, sent my transcript last night, closed my grandmother’s bank account, and booked tickets to HOTLANTA! for next Saturday. Padre is going down with me to go furniture shopping and entice some (very) distant relatives (or just trick them into thinking they are our relatives) into letting us borrow their car for the day. The precourse for BLOCK 0 class starts the day after he leaves, so I’ll be able to be at peace with my frustrating homework.

As an added bonus, I gave myself a ghetto French manicure with clear tape (I know you know so don’t play games)! I’m also out of clear nail polish so I had to use the matte clear, and it makes my nails look weird and creepy since it’s not on evenly.  But hey, it’s ghetto! And I’m a panda! And we are finally making some

progress.

Going to bed! Sleeping in tomorrow, reading Chapter 2 and answering problems for BLOCK 0, helping out at the restaurant, maybe going back to the outlets to try and get Padre a good bargain for the 3^rd pair of the SAME flip-flops he keeps buying, and perhaps calling Qwest under the alias of my grandmother and trying to cancel service (nah…I’ll save that for Friday). I’d better go before I fall aslee….

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……

Numero Uno: Panda Post

Welcome [back], folks! If you’re new to this blog, hats off to you! You’ve found the greatest place on the web, within (not very good) reason. If you’re an old reader, you’ll be surprised (or maybe not) to see that I’ve changed things around a bit. Apparently I was swearing a little too much for my own good on the previous blog, and including excess incriminating sexual exploit details…which was fine for a Penn State undergrad student. After all, it IS the #2 party school (whatever, Boulder). But now…

NOW…

NOW I AM A NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION GRADUATE FELLOW (or fellowette, rather. Aren’t there female versions for these things?)! Oh yes, my little corn dogs! No one at school believed me, either, when it happened. I suppose no one thought I would actually get it, since it is a PRETTY EFFING HUGE DEAL. But here I am…$30,000 stipend per year for the next three years, plus tuition and travel included! Anyway, I’ll stop talking about it before the “Foundation” starts creeping on my posts. And hence, the reason why I revamped this blog.

On August 22, 2011, I will officially be a graduate student/PhD candidate at Georgia Tech (coincidentally, on the other end of the party school spectrum). With that, and the previously heeded advice from Doctor Professor to tone down the Facebook account, I present:

PUBLISHING PANDA PANDEMONIUM! Reppin’ the [cell] hood since 2011! The life and times of Alice the Panda in graduate school, and if failure arises she can still hopefully get a Master’s degree!

Okay, now don’t panic. I KNOW you already miss “Boogers in My Jungle Juice.” But seriously, never fear! I have a sweet apartment in Hotlanta and even though I promise to tone down the swearing (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE, AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THIS POST G-D*MNIT), “3P” (you know, Publishing Panda Pandemonium...) is still going to rock your socks off! Just in a more “nice, clean fun” type of way. NODONTLEAVE.

So now that introductions are out of the way, let’s move on to the juicer stuff. First, a SUPES recap of my summer: three weeks in India, a planned six weeks in China but after a Visa fail (and my new hatred toward China Eastern airlines…do NOT fly with them!) only less than a week in Hong Kong, I arrived back home in good old Amishville. Alright, alright. I know you’re dying to see picture of my trip, so I’ll humor you. BUT ONLY A FEW…OKERRRR!?

Finally graduated with my B.S. diploma (no pun intended)! Major in bioengineering, minor in Chinese and Engineering Leadership.

During senior week and for my birthday, visited friends in Portland, OR. At VooDoo Donuts in the wee hours of the morning!

Interviewing RUDIben in India to see how women become micro-entrepreneurs. Read more about Penn State Prerana team’s work with the Self Employed Women’s Association (SEWA) at www.projectprerana.weebly.com.

Finally got a day to escape by myself to Lamma Island while in Hong Kong. Took a ferry and enjoyed the beautiful ocean view.

At the traveling petting zoo in Amishville with Big K (don’t know why we didn’t take a picture together). Watch our Youtube video, a cover of “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars!

Attending the first high-school reunion wedding with The Boyf, whose hair has finally morphed (NOT to be confused with ANIMORPHS!) to 50-year-old-fantastic!

The past few weeks I spent hanging out with Big K, visited Bottleshop Cupcake Enthusiast’s grave during Arts Fest and even spilled the beans to Padre about The Boyf! But enough about the first part of my summer…this blog is dedicated to the GRADUATE PANDA! Okerrrr but FIRST: bad news and good news, in that order:

BAD NEWS: Amy Winehouse is NOT alive! I was recently just watching drunken videos of her performing “Valerie” live, because there wasn’t a good sober one of her. She definitely got what was coming, but still…she would have been so amazing if she could have just stood up straight. But who knows? The autopsy report hasn’t come out yet and for all we know she could have been clean for the past 6 months and just choked on a Dorito or something. Oy vey.

GOOD NEWS: Adriama Lima is a MILF! I had no idea that she had a daughter. She is still beautiful (Adriana, but her daughter is probably beautiful, too). So the moral of this story is that I STILL HAVE HOPE when I have children (which won’t be for awhile)! Plus, she’s my favorite model and I’m glad that she’s still got it!           

I had set up the new blog a few days ago, but waited until today to put up my first post. After reading the assignment for Block 0 (seriously, block ZERO!?) for my first med school class at Emory last night, I had a minor panic attack (when I say minor I mean GODZILLA) and had to relay my fears via text with Pedro Cottontail at 1:30am in the morning. But today I finally got started and memorized all twenty amino acids! Just give me a blank sheet of paper and I’ll write the name, abbreviation, letter symbol, acidity and draw the structure of each amino acid! After a lifetime of working in the Chinese takeout restaurant industry, I am proud to say that I’ve still got the ability to hardcore study while still frying egg rolls intermittently. VERY GOOD! And for those of you who care (it’s a grad school blog, get used to it), here are some tricks I used to memorize the amino acids:

Nonpolar: PIG CAMP TVL (Phenylalanine has the benzene group, Isoleucine has an extra carbon dangling, Glycine is the easiest and my favorite, Cysteine is the easiest with sulfur, Alanine is the easiest with carbon, Methionine is the harder version with sulfur, Proline loops the alpha carbon and amino group, Tryptophan is the crazy one and makes you sleepy because it’s in turkey, Valine has more carbons, and Leucine has the extra carbon on top).

Uncharged Polar: T TAGS (Tyrosine is the complicated one with the benzene group, threonine is the more complicated one with the hydroxyl, Asparagine has the amine and double bond oxygen, Glutamine is the more complicated one with amine and oxygen, and Serine is the easy one with the hydroxyl).

Acidic: AG (Aspartic Acid is Asparagine with two oxygens, Glutamic Acid is Glutamine with two oxygens).

Basic: LAH (Lysine has four carbons and a nitrogen, Arganine has three carbons and a nitrogen-carbon-nitrogen end, Histidine also has the weird end but it is looped in a pentagon).

Right, so you didn’t read it and you didn’t care. THAT’S OKAY! I am still a proud panda. And to prove that I’m back in the swing of things (or getting there, it’s only the first day!), I have even started listening to Pandora again! I can’t believe how much I’ve missed it. One can only take “Give Me Everything” by Pitbull for so long. If you haven’t tried it, PLEASE do! Pandora is fantastic, if only without the ads that keep popping up in between songs.

Well, that’s it! Thanks for reading my first blog post! Last week I also signed an author submission for a journal, so hopefully these posts won’t be the only thing I’ll be publishing in the near future! Updates soon! Tomorrow I am going with Padre to his doctor’s appointment, most likely going to a buffet, and comparing prices at clearance racks at the outlets. BEST. ASIANS. EVER.