Panda (tentatively) Survives the Semester

Hello my dear little cheese curls! I have finally lived to see the day when I'd have time (or patience) to update my blog yet again! I finished my finals on Thursday of last week. The weekend was a blur due to my celebratory festivities, although I will try my best to recap the highlights. Although this week should be my most productive in lab since I don't have any classes, the equipment I need to use is currently down, and I have no estimate as to when it will be usable again. Thus, I am stuck at my desk, trying my best to concentrate on reading papers and The Economist. Unfortunately (or fortunately!) I have decided instead to update my blog! Usually I reserve non-school/lab work to be completed outside of the 9-5 block of time, but as of late I have just been going home and making Youtube videos instead.

To curb this inefficiency in the abode, I have decided to force myself to complete work RIGHT THIS SECOND as I sit here, otherwise I will be tempted to go on Facebook, which is another no-no between 9-5. Plus, my efficiency has risen dramatically over the past month or so, so I deserve a break to write this.

This is certainly an improvement from my first summary of negative efficiency some time ago.

Also, about a month ago I washed my Ipod nano that I received for Christmas from The Boyf several years ago. It has served me well; but alas, I had to be an incompetent fool and forget to check my jacket pockets before throwing it into the washer. And of course, the Ipod has not worked since then, even though I have been plugging it in every day to check if it charges. I stopped trying altogether about a week ago because I am hanging on the verge of hopelessness, although I did have a dream last night that it ended up charging. Let me try it now...

Nope. I'm screwed.

And because I am so stubborn, I refuse to buy a replacement Ipod. Perhaps I will take this to the Apple store and claim software malfunction. I never thought I would be able to survive without listening to music on my walk to and from school every day, but I have before and I am starting to get used to it again. Although sometimes I do really miss it, it is nice listening to the sounds of REAL LIFE: birds chirping, cars beeping, the garbage truck, drunk people at happy hour, some homeless guy asking me for money...I digress. And I think I really miss listening to music. Usually I go on Billboard 100 to stay up to date with and download new music, but I have just been so busy lately that I haven't had time to do that. With 4 classes and even a minimal amount of labwork, I still manage to find myself sitting in lab 10-12 hours a day, and also on the weekends. At least it is better now, since I no longer have classes. And this weekend I finally went out, which was a good way to wind down after a crazy semester. Anyway, I am in love with this "Good Feeling" song by Flo Rida, which is apparently originally from Avicii, but it really THE BEST remixed by Skrillex. LISTEN TO IT. NOW. I am. And I keep having to resist the urge and start flinging my body around in the vicinity near my desk. The poor Muslim lady sitting next to really has to put up with a lot, although she reminds me a lot of Yashmak, my roommate from college, and I really like them both. 

On to the weekend! On Friday, we had "Girls Night" at one of our labmates' house. I highlight the title because it was not completely accurate. Although almost all the attendees were female, Papa Ray was also invited to "babysit" her son, although we all know better. Every woman in our lab, single or not, is vying for Papa Ray's hand in marriage because not only is he a great guy, he is well educated, a mean chef, and is really good with kids. And somehow STILL single...ah, the perks of academia... So on Friday, we had delicious homemade Korean food. Then a few of us met up with a few others, and went to the CLERMONT LOUNGE! It is a strip bar for old people - as in the strippers are old, not the crowd. We talked to "Porscha", a 65 year old stripper who has two children, aged 25 and 40, and offered to give one of our guy friends a lap dance. We politely refused as he ran to the bathroom to throw up. But in all seriousness, it was actually a very fun time and the people were very chill. The best highlight of the night was the CRUSHING OF THE BEER CAN IN BETWEEN A STRIPPER'S BUTTCHEEKS! Yes, I never thought I would type that sentence either. But believe me, once you've seen the sight, you will always be hungering for more. I have also heard that one of the strippers ("Blondie"?)  crushes the can in between her breasts. So glorious. Afterwards, we were so enthralled that we ordered a dozen doughnuts from Krispy Kreme.

The next day, I had to finish some work in the lab (surprise, surprise). But I also managed to sneak some time in to visit the local doughnut shop with two other friends in lab (do the doughnuts ever end, you ask? "the answer is nooooooo..."). Although they didn't have penis doughnuts, the selection was otherwise great and very delicious. In the afternoon, I headed over to the opposing lab's Kario Mart party, which is basically Mario Kart but with drinking. Although I was the only non-lab member present that also was not someone's significant other (um, awkward turtle?), it actually wasn't too turtle (yes, I just said that). We had a lot of fun and went to dinner at a pizza place nearby. On Saturday night, a bunch of us went to Opera, a nightclub in the area. I am not sure what the deal is with nightclub/bars that are named after random things, like Church, which is a bar but often gets mistaken for a CHURCH because, well, you know...turtle. 

Anyway, we parked to go to Opera in a $3 lot after much debate and evasion of the $10, then $5 lots. I kept opting for free street parking, but was overturned by a vote of 4-1. It turned out that we didn't have $3 in cash between the 5 of us. So we just left and figured we would come back afterwards and pay, or not pay (probably the latter). However, when we came back roughly 4 hours later, there was A BOOT ON OUR CAR. Which cost $75 to get off! In retrospect, we should have just googled "how to get a boot of your car" and found out that all you have to do is deflate your tire and it slips right off, but of course we were being ignorant fools. I'm still pissed about the situation, although I suppose it was our own faults for not paying. BUT STILL. Apparently there is a "real life superhero" in England called the Angle-Grinder Man that goes around cutting boots off people's cars. Because I'm slightly less apt with heavy machinery, I am considering just handing out print-outs of the previous website so that other people with boots can get rid of them without having to pay the ridiculous fine. 

But talking about real-life superheros, THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO movie is being released TOMORROW!!! 

Last summer, I read all three of the books in the trilogy by Swedish author Stieg Larsson. Then I saw all three of the Swedish movies. I even went as Lisbeth Salander for Halloween. Now the movies are being remade in Hollywood, and I CANNOT wait to watch them! As of today, the wallpaper on both of my computers are of a tattooed Rooney Mara. 

She is so badass.

I've posted this on Facebook and may or may not pass out before I make it to the theater to watch the premiere. It's even got a 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which you KNOW is near impossible (Fine, it is 85% now, but as of last night it was still 90%, and I'm sure it will go back up! Haters gon' hate...). I think I'll have to wait to see it with The Boyf when I go home after Friday, so I don't know how I'm going to contain my excitement until then. 

This week, apart from the dreadful wait for the contact angle machine to go back up, is filled with exciting things! Tomorrow I am going to see the Atlanta Ballet's The Nutcracker, showing at the Fox Theater right next to my place. Then Thursday night I am going to the Atlanta Brewing Company to finally use my Groupon. Then Friday night I am going HOME! So home. In college I hated going home. But now that I've finally told Padre about The Boyf, he is finally giving me a bit more freedom and it's actually nice to go home now. Also, today at 6pm I find out if I passed MASS TRANSFER (passing with a B, that is - still reminiscing over the days when I could get by with a D in fluids). So wish me luck! 

I just received an email that the contact angle machine should be back up soon. EL KHEMDULLILAH! (I know it's spelled wrong, deal with it). 

Happy holidays! More updates to come soon (hopefully)...

Panda Publishes!

Hey cheese curls! It’s time to sit ‘round the holiday-scented tealights and hear about Panda’s progress in grad school! I know I haven’t updated in a while, and as I sat here waiting for some water to boil so I could pour it down the toilet bowl with dishwashing detergent in order to unclog it because I don’t have a plunger, I thought, “Why not update my blog!?”

Indeed, it has been a hectic few weeks that have passed. The last time I updated was about Labor Day weekend, so let’s start chronologically after that. The second week in September, I went WHITEWATER RAFTING! In Tennessee, no less. It was a great time and because I have a lucky panda life, I was the first one to fall in the rapids when we began. I am normally not an outdoorsy panda, but I have to admit I had a great time. About 50 students went, and almost all of them shared a cabin that evening. Although I love people, too many people at the same time in the middle of Tennessee with a toilet down the street is not really to my taste. So instead, I returned to Atlanta for an evening of festivities at various nightclubs in midtown, not the least of which included a casual coastal knock-off bar called “Flip Flops”. As the Germans would say, “GUTEN!”, but NOT REALLY.

Toilet clog update: I’m not really sure what happened last night, but I have been standing over the toilet for the past 10 minutes, pouring hot water down the bowl. I can’t believe I waited 15 minutes for the water to boil, when I could have just turned on the hot water tap. The first time I poured in the hot water, the steamy, soapy suds arising from the citrus detergent wafted into my nose. Then I realized I was breathing in poop soup, so I threw up my mouth a little bit and then continued pouring hot water down while holding my breath. Anyway, it’s still clogged.

But on to the update:

TOILET CLOG UPDATE: Okay, so after flushing another 10 times and not seeing any results and even breaking a plastic hanger but still too scared to stick it in the toilet, I finally went to CVS and broke down and bought a PLUNGER! When I got home, I barely plunged it twice and it was back to normal again! Yeesh. I guess you never appreciate things until you’ve been pouring hot water down your toilet.

So now it’s about an hour later. Any normal person around this hour would probably be relaxing, watching a little TV, maybe reading a little of the new issue of The Economist (yup, I got it! Great investment). UNFORTUNATELY, I am sitting alone in my apartment, drinking homemade iced tea that is lukewarm because I didn’t refrigerate it, working on homework but procrastinating and writing this blog instead, and thinking what it would be like to have my CELL PHONE BACK.

For alas, on the way to pick up The Boyf on Friday evening (along with his two friends, accompanied by Danto), my phone jiggled it’s jolly way out of my trendy jacket (it’s Kenneth Cole, OKERR) and right onto the MARTA subway’s train tracks. Even though I managed to salvage the battery, that is still one Nokia N97 that the world will never see again. Today I got a new SIM card from TMobile (free, surprisingly!) and am now deciding whether I should purchase a new cell phone through Craigslist, online, or through Tmobile/authorized dealer. I’m thinking Craigslist, but because I am a frugal panda, I have tried to bargain down EVERY offer, and unfortunately, no one seems to be very considerate about this issue. 

Lab work is going well. It’s a little slow, but that is good since my schedule is craz-o with four other classes and a seminar. I’ll have to admit I have been partying a good bit on the weekends, but soon it will be winter time and then I can’t not wear pants anymore, and you KNOW that the only reason I go out is to dress up like a ho panda. 

Dr. Titten is the visiting research scientist in our lab, who also happens to be an orthopaedic surgeon, who ALSO happens to live in my building and who ALSO happens to be Jewish and balding and super funny and AWESOME. Anyway, because he is my new best buddy, it makes me sad that THE BOYF HAS STOLEN HIM FROM ME! There is bromance, and then there is BULLDOGS BROMANCE. But don’t worry about me, I’m over it! I have a new best friend, and his name is MASS TRANSFER HOMEWORK. It ain’t no thang.

Because I tend to talk a lot (loudly) and because most people are not accustomed to the mannerisms of a panda, I have been EVICTED from my desk in the lab! Instead, I now sit at a desk in the far back corner of the lab, where 80% of the other people around me are from a DIFFERENT lab! It is actually not so bad because I can just be loud by myself (these things happen) and that way I won’t bother anyone. But STILL, really!? We are not riding the bus in first grade anymore, although I do have to admit I loved getting the seat on top of the tire (only the back one) because you could use the bump as a footrest. 

SO PANDA!

So in tribute to the fantastic people that I now have to leave because I sit at my own island in the lab (they might as well have put a Dunce cap on me), I made a fantastic video entitled…DORIS! 

ENJOY! 

OH EM GEE! And the most important thing that I almost forgot to say!...

I HAVE MY FIRST PUBLICATION!!!

Take THAT, NSF! And also the powers-that-be that moved me from my desk! I’m third author but it is in BIOMATERIALS! THE COOLEST JOURNAL EVER! 

Biomaterials is the coolest journal ever.

We are making final edits before it is available in print, but for now I will leave you with this newly published paper by Doctor Professor, whom I LOVE and can finally reveal his identity because we are best science buddies and IN A PAPER TOGETHER! This is entitled “The Goldilocks Surface” because he is a genius and can come up with cool theories and because he also used to own LLAMAS! But when my paper comes out, I will be sure to share it here as well. 

Enjoy again! I’m going to celebrate with another glass of lukewarm sweet tea!