Happy Lunar New Year!

Once again, I have been riding the procrastination train, but fortunately I am back again with vigor! The past month has been filled with many exciting things, including but limited to: a huge fight with Padre, start of my second semester in graduate school, The Boyf’s move to Atlanta, and celebration of the Lunar New Year.

From my last visit home over Thanksgiving break, I received some verbal disapproval from Cabbage about The Boyf. She remarked on how I “could do better” and what not, and so on and so forth, without any basis and completely out of the blue. After this incident, I decided to be more cautious about disclosing information to her. Over Christmas break, she asked me what The Boyf was planning on doing after graduating college. So I replied truthfully and said he received a job offer in Atlanta, and would probably be moving shortly. I figured she would tell Padre at some point anyway, but I feel like lying about it anymore because I am over this whole “hide and seek” situation.

Of course, she DID tell Padre. He walked in on Christmas Day pissed as a pigeon, demanding to know whether my allegiance lied with him or with The Boyf. I told him that forcing me to make this decision was ridiculous and that there were never any sides involved anyway. I said I would leave if he wanted me to, and that I wouldn’t promise whether or not I would break up with anyone. This is my own life and it is time for me to make my own decisions. If things don’t work out, The Boyf and I will break up. But we won’t break up just because Padre says so.

The next few days were awkward to say the least. I wasn’t particularly angry about the matter. I thought Padre was being childish about the situation but figured he would get over it. He didn’t call me for two days and we didn’t see each other because I hung out with Little Swallow while Padre was at work during the day. I would have left the house but somehow didn’t feel like things had escalated to that point yet, but I definitely felt weird living in the house and not speaking with Padre. On the third day, I went to the outlets with Little Swallow. We walked into J. Crew and walked out immediately because she decided she wanted to look at shoes and not clothing, and I didn’t really care since I’m a po’ motherf*****. Shortly thereafter, Uncle Tom called to ask what the deal was, because apparently he is my familial guidance counselor now. Apparently Padre was in J. Crew and thought I was purposely avoiding him when I left the store prematurely. The entire situation escalated into a huge deal, and Uncle Tom even asked if The Boyf was “Italian or Jewish” when he asked me to describe him, which just goes to show how ignorant they are in the first place.

Long story short, I went to the restaurant for dinner later that evening and Padre was so happy that we both didn’t mention what happened over the past few days. I guess I’m also happy to have not lost my father. I was pretty upset, even though I didn’t show it to my family. Probably because I hate most of them. But all’s well that ends well. Padre just told me to take it slow and let him know if anything happens, which I will do anyway.

Between Christmas and New Year, I went to New York City to visit Coral Diver, my old roommate from college! It was planned poorly due to the previously discussed situation with Padre, but we did meet up for a little during the day. Also, I finally got my hair trimmed by my lovely hairdresser. I save my haircuts just to get them done by her. She does a great job.

I returned to Atlanta on January 3, and The Boyf moved to Atlanta on January 13. The new semester has been okay so far. I believe my classes will not be as time intensive as last semester, although it may be too soon to speak. Also, Dr. Zebra was here the first week of January, so that stress has already passed. He will be here again in mid February, so I will have to start buckling down again soon.

It has been surprisingly good with The Boyf living in the city. He is rooming with Danto, his best friend from college, who also happens to work in the same firm. So things are working out nicely with those two. They live about 25 minutes away from me, but it is easily accessible by the rail, which is also pretty cheap. It’s only been the second weekend and I’ve basically spent every weekend at their apartment since The Boyf’s arrival, but strangely I don’t feel like I am wasting my time or “not being productive,” like I usually stress out when The Boyf is in town. I also thought it would be weird to go from seeing each other once every 3 months to seeing each other every weekend for the entire weekend, but it was a very smooth transition and not weird at all. I have gotten to finish my own work and I believe that in the near future, we may be able to live together without me pulling my hair out trying to finish some assignment, while The Boyf suggestively darts a condom near my peripheral vision every once in a while. Having the same schedule also helps a lot. And when we are together, I hardly ever go on the Internet, which actually saves a lot of time. I do what needs to get done, and nothing more (no Youtube, not Craigslist!). So in reality, I’m not being that much more “productive” when I’m sitting at home anyway. The other thing is that I spend a lot of time playing guitar. I am considering just moving my guitar over the The Boyf’s apartment, so I can play it during weekends and focus on my schoolwork and research SUPER HARD during the week. This also gives me an incentive. And like I told The Boyf, having him around really puts things into perspective. I feel like I stress less because I know that we can both get things done together and I can focus on the priorities at hand.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR! Technically it’s called “CHINESE New Year,” but to be politically correct, it is according to the lunar calendar and more than just Chinese people celebrate it. Jacky Fabulous, a senior graduate student in our lab, went to China about a month ago and was stuck there with visa complications. He finally returned last Wednesday, and in order to celebrate his and The Boyf’s arrival into Atlanta, a few of us went to KFC BUFFET on Friday evening. You are thinking one of two things:

1.       1. Ew…KFC Buffet? Not a classy place at all to celebrate anything. And super unhealthy, too.

2.       2. WOW, KFC BUFFET! I didn’t even know such a thing existed! YOU MUST LOVE THE SOUTH!

To continue the celebratory streak, a bunch of us also gathered together on Saturday evening for a Chinese hot pot, followed by a mean karaoke session. This was my first time doing karaoke in the United States; in fact, I didn’t know it existed in the US (besides maybe New York), but apparently there are places popping up everywhere with Asian style Karaoke. And it’s a big hit. We all had a great time, and The Boyf is slowing becoming accustomed to Chinese traditions. This afternoon, we had dim sum at a restaurant that is very near to The Boyf’s apartment.

It is so weird to be “grown up,” even though I don’t feel like it because I am still in school. Many of my friends are graduating or already in industry, and living in the city also accelerates these changes. Although considered the gold standard in academia, an NSF fellowship will only get you one third of what anyone else working in a high rise in the city makes. Of course, I am not concerned about the money. In fact, it makes other people look more foolish when they waste their money on superfluous things, when I realize how hard someone has to work to make only a fraction of their salary. But what I am gaining is knowledge, which in in my opinion is worth just as much as the actual monetary value I get from my stipend. And in reality, that is the point of graduate school, isn’t it? Plus, having the The Boyf around is nice because I get his hand-me-downs, like the new blackberry I upgraded to today when he purchased a new iphone. But just to humble him, I dragged him to Goodwill for an hour while I browsed around for hidden treasures (no luck this time, will try again next weekend!).

On a very sad note, Joe Paterno has passed away. JoePa was the head football coach at Penn State for 61 years, before receiving an extremely undignified dismissal from his position following a sex scandal story. JoePa was not directly involved in the scandal, but was fired because he did not follow up on his original reporting of the situation to higher officials. There is a lot of controversy over this but THERE HAS BEEN NOT TRIAL, so nothing can be said. The facts can also be interpreted very differently. I won’t go into detail into the story; if you want to know, you can read the brief yourself. However, I will go ahead and say that I still love JoePa with all my heart and that I believe he was completely innocent. I am no expert on football and I have never met Joe Paterno, but sometimes you have to give your intuition credit. And in this case, my intuition is shock and outrage at the sequence of events regarding the entire situation. While at Penn State, I and many other always thought JoePa might pass away while coaching (either in the physical act or at least still employed, in the very least), and speculated on how many people would attend the funeral, the ceremony most likely held on the football field. No one ever thought anything like this would happen. I am terribly sad that we weren’t able to say our goodbyes and that such a wonderful man had to pass away under the critical eyes of society. It is true that you are always true to your alma mater. So many of the experiences that shaped my love for Penn State had to do with JoePa. I feel like he was my grandpa, and I know most alumni feel the same way. I hope that we will be able to find some collective way to pay tribute to JoePa, and I also hope that the University will realize how foolish it was to punish one man for the misdeeds of many others.

In closing: life is both wonderful and very tragic at the same time. I realize how fortunate I am to have support from people that I love, and to be in place where I can still achieve my dreams. At the same time, it is important to prioritize things, because life is funny most of the time, and likes to catch you off guard.

Well, that’s my rant! I still need to call Padre and Cabbage to wish them a happy new year, reply to Coral Diver’s email, and get to bed! Sorry I didn’t include photos in this post; I am running out of time and have decided that sleep is a priority now (along with drinking more milk!). Happy new year!